Getting a divorce is one of the most stressful things that can happen in a person’s life. It is stressful, painful, sometimes embarrassing, and makes for a lot of unknowns about the future. The good news is, it’s possible to have a healthy divorce, and there are plenty of experts to help you get through it. Here are a few tips to make the divorce process as easy as possible.
Identify Your Goals
Early on it’s important to identify what you’re hoping to get from the divorce. What are the most important things to you? What are you willing to compromise on? Being specific with what it is that you want, and asking yourself why you want it, will help to narrow down what it is that you want and are willing to fight for.
Consider Co-Parenting
Movies will have you believe that when parents get divorced there is often a fight to the death for custody of the children. However, that is very often not the case! It’s important to remember and consider co-parenting, both for you and for the sake of the child. Even if you and your spouse have a hard time getting along, being willing to negotiate and work with them will help everyone involved.
Research Thoroughly
There are a lot of decisions to make when it comes to divorce – what kind of process you’d like to go through, who your lawyer will be, and which settlement offers you are willing to accept, to name a few. Being as well-researched as possible will help you feel confident in your decisions, and reduce your stress. Having a thorough understanding of the process also means less time spent having lawyers explain things to you, which can get expensive fast.
Be Careful What You Post
It can be tempting to be transparent on social media about your struggles, and certainly, it’s okay to talk with others about what you’re going through. However, social media posts can come back to hurt you in court, and it’s better to be safe than sorry. If you need to vent, try texting or calling a close friend, or finding a private online support group.
Focus on the Future
Remember that even though everything feels impossible right now, it won’t be like this forever. Whether you want the divorce or not, you are going through a hard thing. Divorce brings massive amounts of change, and with it a lot of conflicting feelings. It’s important to focus on the things you love, your plans for the future, and the people who will be there with you.
Stay True to You
Even the most amicable partners can end up with vicious divorces. It’s likely that throughout this process your feelings will get hurt, or someone will say something that angers you. Remember to stay true to who you are. Don’t stoop to the levels of others, and don’t do anything that you would otherwise regret. The best thing you can do for yourself is to walk away from your divorce with your integrity intact.
